


"Three special words"

by Lava



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst? I still don't know how to tag, Declarations Of Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Magnus Bane's Omamori Charm, Magnus is still the High Warlock of Brooklyn here, Sad, Spoilers for season 3 if you haven't seen the sneek peaks, scared Alec
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-18
Updated: 2018-05-19
Packaged: 2019-04-04 02:46:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14010471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lava/pseuds/Lava
Summary: Magnus decides to go to Edom to ask the help of his Father in order to defeat Lilith.Before going trough the portal, Magnus and Alec have a heart to heart.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by Todd's last tweet about 3 special words that Magnus will say to Alec, and I HAD to write this. 
> 
> Also, I just woke up so forgive me for the mistakes, I will fix them later. 
> 
> Enjoy ^^

At Magnus' loft  
  
**(Magnus' POV)**  
  
Going through his closet, Magnus was looking something to wear which will correspond and be suitable to the next few hours, days, weeks of literally Hell he is going to experience. If he was going to go knock on the Devil's door, he better look good right?  
  
He could hear Alexander pacing around the loft, he could even imagine his worried face and nervous gestures ... The pain he was going to go trough because of him ... It wasn't fair. To either of them, and especially not to Alexander. But he doesn't have a choice, there is no other way.  
  
Magnus was the one who suggested the idea during the meeting of the Downworlders and Shadowhunters leaders which happened a few months ago at the Institute. Alec immediatly said that he wasn't going to let him do this, that this was dangerous, that he didn't know what he was doing Magnus replied back to him that he knew what he was doing and that this was the only way to have something, for once, against the threat they were all facing.  
Of course, Alec didn't buy it, saying that they will find another way, a safe one, and left the meeting. The few following days consisted of Magnus trying to convince Alec that this was the least they could do for now. And that was his choice, and his job as the High Warlock of Brooklyn to do everything necessary to insure the protection of his people, and the people he care about. Magnus understood him. If Magnus was in Alexander's shoes he would never let him do something like this. But still ... this had to be done. Then a few weeks later, Alexander agreed, and told him that he wasn't okay with what Magnus wanted to do but that was still his choice, and if he wanted to do this, then that he will stand next to him.  
  
It broke his heart. Making Alec worry was never Magnus' intention. But sometimes, as people often say, desesperate situations require desesperate measures. And this was one of these situation.  
  
Coming back to his senses, Magnus took a deep breath and picked the outfit he was looking for. He changed his clothes, put some make-up on, wore some jewelleries, and looked at himself in the mirror.  
For the people looking back at him, he would look ...  good, fierce, _royal_.  
But, looking back at himself, he didn't see any of it. What he saw was a son getting ready to visit his father he was terrified of, to ask for his help to save the world. He was a friend, leaving behind the people who cared about him since centuries, without giving them the confirmation that he will be back ... And he saw a lover. A lover, leaving the only person who cares about him the way he always wanted to be cared of, the person who taught him how care about himself, who taught him that all shadowhunters weren't the same, that everyone, whatever time it takes, will eventually find the _one_ they were waiting for their entire life. And Magnus found him. He found Alexander, and now he was going away, breaking and hurting both of their heart. Knowing that if he doesn't get back to this world, it would deeply wound the both of them.  
  
Looking himself at the mirror, he also saw a terrified man. He was going to visit Asmodeus after all, the one who every demons fear. Going back to him, after all these years ... he didn't know how he will proceed once he will be there. Edom. Thinking about it, Magnus always thought that he will never, ever, have to do anything with that Kingdom besides the fact that he was one of the Prince of Hell. A Prince of Hell who left Asmodeus behind to live among the mortals, the angel and demon blood ones, to help people : everything his Father despises.  
  
A knock on his bedroom's door made him come back to reality.  
  
"Magnus?" came Alexander soft voice, trough the door, and Magnus inconsciously smiled.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Are you ... hum... are you ready?" asked Alec,  
  
Taking a deep breath and shaking his head, to clear his mind from unecessary thoughts, he looked back at the door and answered,  
  
"Just have to add a final touch, I will be there soon darling"  
  
"Alright. I will just ... wait here" heard Magnus.  
  
Standing up, Magnus made his way to the little desk next to their bed. He picked up the omamori charm in his hand and looked at it.  
  
It seemed like yesterday when Alexander offered it to him, taking him by complete surprise. In fact, as he said to Maia that day, he doesn't remember the last time when someone gave him a gift. Alexander has his ways of surprising him from time to time.  
Wherever he went, he always took it with him. To feel like, some part of Alec will always  be with him, wherever he goes.  
This charm represents everything they feel for each other. And what they feel for each other is pure, beautiful, wonderful and ... _good_.  
  
Something like this should never, ever get in contact with any shade of darkness, or evil. He won't let it.  
  



	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is chapter 2. 
> 
> English is not my mothertongue, so sorry for mistakes.

Going back to sit on the couch, Alec put is head in his hands, and took a deep breath.   
No matter how much he tried to calm his nerves, and his erratic heart, he couldn't do it. The only thought of Magnus _there_ , alone, with no protection made Alec's blood run cold.   
  
From the start Alec knew this was a bad idea, a terrible one, but he knew that Magnus was right. Even if his heart told him it wasn't, his mind told him they had no choice. They weren't just Magnus and Alec, they were also the High Warlock of Brooklyn and the Head of New York Institute. They both have a job to do, they have to do it for the sake of their people.   
Magnus told him who his father is a few weeks ago. It surprised him. How Magnus was expecting him to look at him with disgust and disdain. But all Alec did was to whisper "You are noting like him" and hold him.  
  
And now, knowing that Magnus is willingly putting his life in danger, to save the lifes of their people ... Alec can't help but wonder if Magnus would have let him go if Alec was planning something like this. Of course he wouldn't. Or maybe he would. Alec didn't know that. But the fact that Magnus will be alone in a place where he doesn't want to be, with a person who hates him as much as Magnus hates him ... It scares him.  
  
Thinking about every possible things that could go wrong in Edom,  to Magnus ... Alec couldn't keep his mind from wandering to these kind of thoughts.

  
The worst part of it was that he was actually going to sit here and wait for Magnus to come back, because there was nothing for him to do apart from waiting. There would be no way of communicating from Edom to the real world. They would just all have to wait for Magnus' return. He wouldn't know of something went wrong, he wouldn't know when Magnus would be needing his help. Magnus would be out there alone, to figure this out all on his own, with no one to rely on. And that what terrifies Alec. Sending Magnus to that place knowing how much things could go wrong, mostly because if that happens, the only one who will be in real trouble will be Magnus.   
  
The sound of the door getting unlocked brought Alec back to the real world. Turning back, but still sitting in the couch, he looked at Magnus making his way towards him. Looking down at his hands, he waited for Magnus to come and stand next to him, and when he did, Alec took a long breath, straightened his back and stood up to face Magnus.   
  
"Hey" said Alec, forcing himself to smile, then he placed his hand on Magnus' forearm. "You're looking great Magnus"  
  
 Magnus smiled. He knew Alec would like it. "It's your favourite after all, you're the one who choose it when we went to mundane shopping with Clary remember?" asked Magnus with a soft smile.   
  
"Yeah I do" answered Alec, this time with a real smile. "You looked beautiful then, and you look beautiful now too" added Alec with a shy smile making Magnus laugh a little.   
  
Both of them were close to each other, really close. Without even realizing, both of them got hold of each other's hands; one of Alec's hand was still on Magnus' forearm while Magnus' hand was holding his waist, and Alec's right hand was holding Magnus' hand.   
Their forehead touching, they could feel each other scent, feel each other's breath; their eyes closed, they both focused on the moment. Because they both know that they have to probably wait a long time before seeing each other again. So they both concentred on how they feel when the other one is present. Because they soon have to let go of each other ... and neither of them were ready for it.   
  
Pulling back, Magnus took hold of Alec's hand and pulled him toward the couch.   
"Come on sit with me" said Magnus, and Alec followed him, smiling at him.   
They both sat on the couch , and Magnus put his head on Alec's shoulder, then Alec put his head on Magnus'. Breathing in silence, none of them said anything, not willing to break the bubble of love they were in.   
Their hands were still linked.   
  
After a few minutes of complete silence, Magnus spoke up and asked,  
  
"Are you alright?" 

Alec didn't know what to answer. Of course he wasn't alright. He was literally letting the love of his life walk into Hell. How was he supposed to feel?   
But he knew that, right now, Magnus was more worried about him than himself.   
To lessen his worried thoughts, Alec cleared his throat, and decided to make Magnus feel better.   
  
"Yeah I am fine don't worry" said Alec in a soft tone, looking down at Magnus, and smiling without even realizing it. Then Magnus looked up with raised eyebrows and biting his lips,   
  
"Are you sure?" asked Magnus, and damn it, Alec really didn't want to worry Magnus more than he already was.   
  
"Yeah of course" replied Alec, he moved his hand behind Magnus' back and made little movements with his fingers to soothe him.   
  
"Are you okay?" asked Alec after a few seconds, Magnus looked at him, then shrugging, he waved his hands carelessly, and answered,   
  
"Oh you don't have to worry about me I am doing alright"  
  
But Alec heard him tremble midway his sentence and saw him gulping, then looking down at his hands. Magnus was playing with his rings, something he always does when he is feeling nervous,  which Alec learned after a few days of dating him. Magnus acting like he was alright while he wasn't always managed to break Alec's heart.   
Alec knew that Magnus was scared of what's going to happen to him, but also worried about Alec. And Magnus probably knew that Alec is not telling him the truth to not to worry him, so he does the same : he lies so that he wouldn't worry Alec.   
  
Sighing, and closing his eyes Alec rubbed his forehead with his other hand, and said,   
  
"We are terrible liars"   
  
That made Magnus looked up again, but this time he laughed a little, his shoulders shaking, he shaked his head and kept looking fondly at Alec. Alec smiled back at him.   
  
"Sorry, I didn't want to worry you, I know you're already a bit scared" replied Magnus with a soft voice.   
  
"Don't be sorry Magnus and I will always worry about you" said Alec, scooting closer to Magnus.   
  
"I know Alexander" answered Magnus, then he moved his hand to caress Alec's cheek with his thumb, something he always does to comfort him, and Alec leaned into his touch with a smile with closed eyes.   
  
When he re-opened his eyes, they were filled with tears, and Magnus felt his breath catching in his throat, then swallowing, he took Alec's face in both of his hands,   
  
"Alexander, darling ..."   
  
"I am terrified Magnus. I am so so scared" whispered Alec. Magnus breath stopped for a moment and he looked at Alec, with teary eyes.   
  
"I will be fine, Alexander, you don't have to-" But Alec wasn't listening, all kind of thoughts were running around in his head, for the past few months, he was going crazy from worrying, and he needed to voice them out.   
He got up from the couch, and started pacing around in front of Magnus.   
  
"What if everything goes wrong?" blurted out Alec without even thinking that everything is going to say is going to worry Magnus even more. But he couldn't stop, he kept rubbing the back of his neck with one hand and the other was moving in the air while he poured out his pain, frustration, worry, and sadness in the form of questions.   
  
"You don't know that everything is going to be fine, that you are going to be fine. What if something happens and you need our help? What if you need help and we can't ... and I can't help because we wouldn't know if something went wrong? You told us yourself that there would be no way of communicating from that place so we are just ... I am just going to do what? Sit around in my office at the Institute and leave you on your own in that ... place? How am I supposed to be fine knowing that you're going to be there, with _him_ , _alone_? What if he already knows that you are going to come to him? What if he is working on a plan of his own ? W hat if he is going to keep you there? What are we gonna do if he traps you there with him with no way of escaping? What if - "

  
Magnus wasn't paying attention to the rest of Alec's sentences, his mind focusing on the last questions of Alec's panicked ramble. Alec was right, what would they do if Asmodeus decides to not to help them? How is he going to get out from that place if his Father decides to keep him with him?  
Of course Magnus spend the last months questionning himself about the hundred of possibilities of what would happen wrong with this mission. And he spend hours thinking about the ways out for every problem that could occure in that place. But he never shared his worries, or thoughts with anyone, not even Alec.

  
But now, listening to Alec list all the bad things that could happened to him, makes Magnus realize how actually dangerous it is, to go to Edom in order to ask help from his Father.

  
It makes him realize of how terrifying it would be to be trapped in that place, with no one around, but him and his Father. That thought only made shivers run through his body. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> See you for chapter 3 (the last one) ^^


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SORRY I AM LATE. I am just so lazy and tired these days...
> 
> Anyways, the last episodes killed me and kind of gave me some motivation to write. 
> 
> So here you go. 
> 
> Little clarification : in this fic, Jace isn't posessed by Lilith. But Lilith managed to bring back Jonathan from the dead and now they are both killing humans and shadowhunters and downworlders. Also, they have their demons running around everywhere. And no one can stop them. That's why Magnus goes to Edom to ask for his Father's help.  
> Oh and also, Magnus is still the HWOB here so ...yeah.

Alec stopped his questions halfway noticing that Magnus wasn't focused on him anymore. He seemed to be lost in his thoughts.

Cursing himself, Alec realized how stupid it was, to say out loud all of his thoughts. Not only he worried Magnus, but he probably made him feel like this was a suicide mission.

Which it wasn't. He won't let it be.

Magnus was still sitting on the couch, looking straight, lost in his thoughts, and Alec was standing in front of him, biting his lower lip wondering what could he do to comfort Magnus.

Taking a deep breath, Alec sat down in one knee in front of Magnus, and one of his hands found itself behind Magnus' neck, and the other one was holding Magnus' hands.

"Magnus? Magnus look at me" said Alec, getting closer to Magnus, both of his hands placed exactly where they were a few seconds ago.

"Magnus" called Alec, this time a little louder, the hand on Magnus' neck grabbing him with a little more strength. That made Magnus blink up at him, then their eyes found themselves and Magnus blinked a few more times before speaking up.

"Sorry" said Magnus, his voice sounding a little raspy, making Alec worry even more. Clearing his throat, Magnus said again,

"Sorry I wasn't listening. I was ... My mind was somewhere else."

Looking down at their hands, Magnus passed his hands over Alec's one and caressed it. Swallowing, and closing his eyes for a few seconds, Magnus re-opened them and focused on Alec. He was looking at him with softness, love, admiration, and of course, worry and sadness.

"Alexander" called Magnus, with a firm yet gentle tone. He removed Alec's hand from his neck and placed it on his knee and hold both of his hands in his own.

"Stop worrying about me"

"But-"

"No Alexander listen to me" interrupted Magnus.

Magnus knew that Alec will always worry about him, but this time, he can't walk away leaving Alec behind with thousands of thoughts making him crazy. He needs to assure him.

"I know what I am doing. And I know it's dangerous, trust me I know" started Magnus. "And if something does happen-" Alec's eyes suddently widened and his hands gripped Alec's with a little more force to calm him.

"Calm down, Alexander. As I was saying, if something does happen, I will know how to take care of myself. He is my Father after all, and I know his tricks, and I know he will do something unexpected once I will get there, but I know how to handle him.  I am the High Warlock of Brooklyn after all, and I am as powerful as him Alexander, you know that" finished Magnus, smirking a little to lighten the mood.

Alec's shoulders drop a little bit from relief or worryness? Magnus didn't know, and his head was down, his eyes looking at both of their hands.

"I know you are powerful, I know you can take care of yourself, but I still worry because..."

"Because ... ?" softly asked Magnus, tittling his head a little bit to show Alec that he was listening.

"Because you are scared. Both of us are, and we pretend that we're not to ease the mind of the other. And it's not working because it's only making us worry more about each other" said Alec, sighing, and letting his head drop on Magnus' knees. 

Removing his hands from Alec's to allow him to pose his head on his knee and be comfortable, Magnus placed one of his hands on Alec's back, and started to rub small circles on his back to help him feel more eased, and placed his other hand on top of Alec's head. Then he looked down at him and smiled with his fond smile he only reserved for his Alexander.  
  
Alec moved his hands from the top of Magnus' knees to circle with both of his arms Magnus' legs as if Alec could prevent him from leaving if he kept holding onto him.  
As soon as Magnus started to ruffle his hair, Alec felt himself relax and smiled.  
Magnus had his ways of making him comfortable, relaxed and happy around him. He doesn't even have to say anything, just a little gentle touch of his hands on his cheek, or his soft smile, his kisses, and the way he holds him whenever he is in need of comfort or support, have the possibily to soothe him.  
  
"There it is. That smile" said Magnus with a smirk, as soon as he saw Alec smiling.  
  
Chukling, Alec looked up at him, his face still on Magnus' knee, and his arms still envelopping his legs.  
  
As Alec looked into Magnus' eyes, he realized he woudn't be looking at Magnus for a long time, after he would depart for Edom. That thought only made Alec frown in sadness, and he suddenly looked down, going back to rest his head on Magnus' knees.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" asked Magnus, as soon as he saw Alec frowning.  
  
"You" simply responded Alec, making Magnus' heart jump in his rib cage.

  
"I am going to miss you" said Alec, after a few beats of silence.  
  
"I am going to miss you too sweetheart" whispered Magnus, and moved his hands from Alec's hair to his cheek, and rest it there. His thumb started to caress Alec's cheek gently and Alec closed his eyes to feel the caress of Magnus' on him for the last time.  
  
"Don't go" suddenly blurted out Alec, making Magnus' hands stop its movements only for a millisecond, then to start again.  
  
"Alexander ..." sighed sadly Magnus.  
  
But Alec didn't let him finish his sentence, he started to ramble again, but this time a little more desesperate, and strenghtening his grip on Magnus.  
  
"We will find another way. You don't have to go there. We will keep looking and we will find Lilith and Sebastian, send back their creatures, their demons and themselves to Hell ourselves, we don't need your father's help for it. Everything will be fine. You don't have to go away and put your life in danger to save us all. Please don't go, stay with me, we will find another way, we will find another way..."  
  
Magnus was feeling helpless. If there is something he hated more than anything it was to see his loved ones suffer because of him. He knew that his decision will hurt Alec deeply, but he hated to see him like this.

  
Alec was shaking his head repeatedly, still holding onto Magnus like a life line, and kept repeating "we will find another way". He also saw the tears threatening to fall from Alec's hazel eyes, but Alec was fighting it back.

  
Magnus saw Alec on the verge of crying only one time : when they broke up. When he broke up with him, to choose his people over his love, his heart. When he left Alexander in the Institute Hall heartbroken and alone, because he thought he had to choose between the Downworld and Alexander.

The image of Alec, heartbroken, sad and fighting the urge to cry, was still printed in his mind.

  
But now, he was leaving him again, not by choice, but because of his duty and comittement towards his people. To protect them. But also, to protect the people Magnus cares about and that includes Alexander and his family and some other Shadowhunters.  
There was no other way. The only one who can help them is his Father. He knows it. Because right now, with everything going around with Lilith ... Sebastian resurecting and her demons invading the the shadow world and the humans world ... It's not something that Magnus can stop by himself. 

She is the Mother of all demons. Her power and magic are so dark and without limits.  
Even if Magnus is one of the most powerful people in the Downworld, he can't reach her level. She is smart, cruel, evil. Everything she does is to destroy anyone and anything standing on her way.  
Her only goal is to reign on the Shadow World so she could get her revenge on the people who killed her son, Sebastian.  
With her magic and Sebastian powers combined, they are unstoppable.  
  
The only person who understands and possess the same kind of magic as theirs is Asmodeus. And as much he hates to admit it, he needs his Father right now.  
It does terrify him. To leave Alexander behind... heartbroken, sad and alone... if there was another way, he would take it. But there isn't one.  
  
Seeing him on the verge of breaking down, Magnus felt like letting go of all of this stupid plan of saving the world, and take Alexander with him to a place where nobody will ever find them, where they would feel each other's presence everyday. But it doesn't work like that in their world.

Their world full of darkness, suffering, and pain, forcing them to choose the greater cause over their own happiness. How cruel was that? Having to be leaders before lovers. To break both of their hearts, so they could save thousands of lives.  
  
Sniffing, and controling his the urge to cry as well, Magnus blinked a few times in an attempt to not to cry in front of Alec, because if he does, it'll break Alec's heart even more.  
  
So, clearing his troat, Magnus moved his hands towards Alec and cupped his face.  
Alec was now looking at up at him, still kneeling in front of him. Tears were now running freely on his face, and it break Magnus' hear to see him like this.  
  
"Oh Alexander..." whispered Magnus, unable to control the tremor in his voice.  
  
And Alec lost it. He burst into tears and went back to put his head on Magnus' knees,  
  
"I can't loose you, I- I can't, I don't - I don't want to-" said Alec, his shoulders shaking, his arms circling Magnus' legs with a little more force.  
  
"Darling..." said Magnus, he then grabbed Alec's face with his hands and made him look up to him.  
Alec's eyes were red, he used the sleeve of his right hand to clean away his tears and tried to get in control. Biting his lips and looking down, he didn't dare to look into Magnus' eyes.  
  
He knows that breaking down was the last thing he should have done but he really couldn't handle it anymore. Letting go of the person he cares about the most in this world ... he didn't want to. He knows that as a shadowhunter and as a responsible Head of Institute, he should do everything in his power to save his people from Lilith, Sebastian and their demons.

But his heart ... His heart didn't want to allow it.

  
He knows that the first duty as shadowhunter is to protect his people and the world. That he had to put everyone else first before himself. That whatever problems he faces, the only thing he should keep in mind is to save the world.

He always has to save the world.  
But this time ... he _can't_. He can't. 

Not because he doesn't want to save his people and the mundane world from Lilith's and Sebastian's horrors, but because if he does choose the world, he would loose _his world_ : Magnus.

And he can't do that.  
Why can't he have both? Why can't he keep the world and Magnus safe? Why does he have to sacrifice one of them to save the other?  
  
Why does he have to sacrifice Magnus to save the world?  
  
**What if he doesn't want the world and wants Magnus?**  
  
What if he wants to be selfish for once?  
What if the only thing he can think about right now is to protect Magnus above all?  
  
"Alexander look at me" heard Alec, Magnus' voice bringing him out of his thoughts, he looked up at Magnus.  
Magnus was smiling down at him, his eyes shining from the tears he is trying to control. 

His hands were on one of Alec's cheeks, caressing it and the other hand found is way to one of Alec's shoulder.  
  
"Alexander" Magnus called out again, and this time, all of Alec's attention was on Magnus.  
  
"Alexander I need you to listen to me" said Magnus, doing everything to bring Alec's attention back to him, so he can prevent him from thinking about all the things that could go wrong in Edom.  
  
"I will be fine-"  
  
"But Magnus he-"  
  
"No listen to me. I will be fine. I promise okay?  
I know my father, and yes I also believe that he will do something unexpected and probably trick me. But I can handle him alright? I will"  
  
"You don't have to go, you don't want to go! We will find something else-"  
  
"How?" asked Magnus back, his voice full of desesperation,  
  
"How are we gonna fight back all these demons, Lilith and Sebastian?

Lilith's demons are everywhere turning the mundane and the shadow world into chaos. And Sebastian is still planning to get Clary and kill Jace, again. We can't take a risk now Alexander. I know you hate this, I hate it too. But it's the only way. Their magic is powerful, unique, pure evil and strong. And I don't perform that kind of magic. The only person who does is my Father and there is no way I am gonna summon my Father on Earth. It will make everything so much worse. So I will get down there, I will meet my Father, I will convince him, and I swear on everything that's worthy to me, I will find my way back to you Alexander. I promise, darling". 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you liked it, give a kudos or leave a comment :)
> 
> And tell me if you find any mistakes. 
> 
>  The next chapter is already written, so it will be up tonight, definitely. 
> 
> Thank you for reading.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the final chapter.

By the end of Magnus' speech, Alec was looking down, he was shaking his head, and before he could object again, Magnus started to speak,

"If there was any other way, I would take it, but there isn't. I hate this as much as you do. Do you really think I want to leave you like this because the world is in danger? Do you think I want to go to meet my Father who despises my entire existence? Do you think I want to think that this may be the last time I see you and- ''

''Don't say that!" interrupted Alec, fear and panic completely visible on his features,

''Don't you dare say that to me" said Alec, gritting his teeth, and now holding Magnus' hands in his own.

Taking a deep breath, Alec gulped,

"I don't want this to be the last time I see you" whispered Alec, looking up at Magnus with teary eyes,

"I don't want this to be a goodbye"

"I seriously hope it won't be one" replied Magnus, and looking right into Alec's eyes, Magnus said,

"I promise I will do everything in my power to come back to you"

Sighing, and releasing a shaky breath, Alec got up from the floor, sat down on the couch next to Magnus, and without thinking about anything else, he took Magnus in his arms and hugged him like life depended on it. Alec felt Magnus immediately relax at his embrace, and Alec felt the same.

Magnus moved his body closer to Alec' so that no air will pass between them. They were both holding each other with so much strengh. Neither of them wanted to let go. But they both knew that they have to.

Sniffing, and clearing his throat, Alec was the one to speak first.

"Promise me you'll be okay. I need to know that you' ll be okay. I need you to tell me that you're absolutely sure that you will come back to us, to me. Or I am not letting you go anywhere. Screw the Clave and Lilith and her demons. I will fight them myself if you don't want to this" said Alec firmly and looking at Magnus.

Somehow, this made Magnus smile.

"Oh my dear Alexander..." whispered Magnus, his hand caressing Alec's cheek, and smiling he answered,

"You said it yourself one day remember? We always seem to find our way back to each other. And we did before. And this time, we will too. I will come back to you. I don't know how but ... but I promise you I will okay?" Magnus felt Alec relax next to him.

He could see his muscles lose the pressure and the tension. Alec nodded, blinking back new fresh tears, and sighing he asked,

"Why is it always us? Why do we have to sacrifice everything? Why is it always you who have to save everyone by putting yourself at risk?"

Shrugging Magnus said,  
  
"Because it's my job, as the High Warlock of Brooklyn and it's yours as the Head of Institute" simply answered Magnus.  
  
"I know ... it just that ... everytime you go and try to save the world, I always feel like I am never gonna see you again." said Alec, remembering how he felt when the Soul Sword was activated and learned that Magnus was at the Institute.  
  
"Alexander ... I will never leave you... Alright maybe I am leaving you for a while now. But it's just for a few days alright? The time is different down there, a few minutes could pass as hours here. You have to trust me."  
  
"I trust you. I do. I am just ... scared." admitted Alec, looking down, at their fingers which were now entwined together.  
  
"I know ... I am scared too, but everything will be fine Alec, I swear."  
  
"Yeah..." said Alec, nodding his head, but still looking down.  
  
"You know ... I mean what I said that day." said Alec, confusing Magnus for a few seconds.  
  
"I said that I can't live without you." replied Alec, looking up at him, with one single tear falling from his eyes.  
  
"And I meant it okay? I can't live without you ... so please, just-"   
  
Alec stopped talking for a few seconds so he could keep in control his emotions,  
  
"Just don't make me live without you alright? Because I can't."  
  
"Alexander..."  
  
"No listen to me. I am serious. You are ... everything to me okay? And-"  
  
Alec stopped in mid sentence to take a deep breath, then looked directly into Magnus' eyes and said,  
  
"And I love you. I love you so much. Like I have never loved anyone, and like I never will. So I need you to be safe. Because if anything happens to you I won't be able to bear it do you understand me? That would break me apart. I will be alive but I won't be living. So I need you. I need you safe back here with me. Okay?" asked Alec, now tears freely falling on his cheeks.  
  
Magnus tried so hard to not to cry, but what Alec just said broke his heart. God, he loves him so much.  
  
Without saying anything, he grabbed Alec by the collar of his shirt, and kissed him. Putting every ounce of love, admiration, and care into the kiss, Magnus felt Alec kissing him back with the same strengh.  
  
Then, Magnus brought their foreheads together, and closed his eyes,  
  
"There is nothing in this world which will keep me away from you. Not my Father, and not Hell. And if I get trapped there I will-"  
   
"I will know it." interrupted Alec, backing away a little and looking at Magnus with determination.  
"I will feel it. And I promise I will find you. I will go through Hell's fire myself and I will bring you back. I swear on the Angel"  
  
"My hero" whispered Magnus, bringing his hands to the back of Alec's neck to hold him.  
  
Alec chuckled, and then said,  
  
"I will always save you"  
  
"I know you will." replied Magnus, looking at him with fond eyes.  
  
Then, looking down and bringing his hands down, Magnus said,  
  
"It's time"  
   
Instantely, Alec grabbed Magnus' hands in his own and hold them with strengh, which made Magnus smile.  
  
"I promised you I will come back to you didn't I?"  
  
"Yeah. Yeah..." answered Alec, and taking a deep breath, he got closer to Magnus and grabbing him by the back of his neck, bringing him closer he kissed Magnus' forehead, with care.  
Magnus melted against him, feeling Alec's warmth surrounding him, and he closed his eyes, trying to memorize how being loved by Alec feels like.  
  
When Alec pulled back, he was crying again, and he was biting his lips. Magnus brought his hands to Alec's face and cleaned the tears away.  
  
Then without saying anything, Alec nodded.  
Magnus, nodding back, got up from the couch, leaving Alec behind, and went to place himself at the center of his living room. And then he looked back at Alec.  
  
Clearing his throat, his fingers entwined together, Alec said,  
  
"Now what?"  
  
"Now ..." said Magnus, magically making appear a knife from his kitchen, he cut the palm of his hand with it,  
  
"... I have to make the pentagram"  
  
"Why are you using your blood?" asked Alec.  
  
"My father and I share the same blood. The only way to get to Edom, is if you perform his spell and use his blood. But if I would want to summon him I would use other ingredients. I am using my blood now because not all of people are welcomed down there." 

  
"Do you think he will be mad at you for entering Edom?"  
  
"Oh I don't think so" answered Magnus, without giving anything much.  
  
Using his bleeding hand, Magnus drew the pentagram.  
Alec stood up and made his way toward him, and stood behind him.  
  
Magnus, using his magic to heal his hand,and dropping the knife on the ground, turned around and faced Alec.  
Then with both of his hands, he cupped Alec's face and said,  
  
"You are the most wonderful thing that happened to me in the last five hundred years, and I never will be able to tell you how much I love you because there are no words which will tell you how much you did for me.  
Alexander ... I love you, like I have ever loved anyone. And the way you love me, the way you make me feel loved, is something I never felt before.  
You taught me so many things and made me realize so many things.  
I always thought that I would never find someone who will make me feel this loved. But you did. And you do...  
Alexander Lightwood, aku cinta kamu."  
  
"What-" started to ask Alec but he interrupted himself to clean away his tears with the sleeve of his shirt.  
  
"What does that mean?" asked Alec breathlessly, clinging to Magnus with every force he had.  
  
"It means I love you, in Indonesian" answered Magnus.  
  
"When you will come back from Edom, you have to teach me Indonesian" replied Alec, smiling through his tears, and making Magnus laugh.  
  
"Of course my dear"  
  
"And Magnus?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"I love you too. With all my heart and soul. I love you" said Alec, his hand caressing Magnus' cheek.  
Magnus silently nodded, smiling at him.  
  
"I have to go now" said Magnus,  
  
"Okay" replied Alec,  
  
"You have to let me go sweatheart" said Magnus with a watery smile,and Alec looked down to see that both of his hands were strongly holding Magnus' shirt.  
But instead of letting go, Alec pulled Magnus into a hug and hold him tight.  
Magnus hugged him back with all the strengh he posessed.  
  
After a few agonizing seconds, or minutes, they pulled away, and Alec still holding Magnus by his shirt said,  
  
"You will make it back do you hear me?"  
  
"Why wouldn't I ? Look what I have waiting for me?"  
  
Then, with a last, long kiss they shared, Alec let go of Magnus, and Magnus turned away quickly and walked inside the pentagram and faced Alec.  
  
"So what happens now?" asked Alec, looking down at his hands,  
  
"I have to put the pentagram on fire" answered Magnus, and Alec immediately looked up, with wide eyes.  
  
"What?! No way!"  
  
"Alexander, I promise it'll be really quick. I won't even feel the pain"  
  
"But-"  
  
"It will be fine darling." said Magnus smiling at him,  
  
"Damn it" said Alec, pinching his nose and exaling a deep breath. Then looking back at Magnus with a pained expression, he asked,  
  
"Can't you go there without setting yourself on fire?"  
  
"This is the only way, and I won't be burning myself, the only which will be on fire is the pentagram. So there is nothing to worry, I promise."  
  
"By the Angels" whispered Alec, taking his head in his hands,  
  
"Alexander" suddenly said Magnus making Alec look up,  
  
"If you don't want to see this, you can leave, I-"  
  
"What?! No I am not. I will be with you the whole time"  
  
"Are you sure? You don't have to watch this."  
  
"I don't really have a choice... But I am not leaving now. You can ... You can do the spell now." said Alec, his jaw tight.  
  
Then nodding, and looking at Alec with all his love, he said,  
  
"I love you Alexander"  
  
Smiling back at him, and with a shaky smile and teary eyes, Alec said,  
  
"I love you too Magnus"  
  
Taking a deep breath, Magnus moved his hands, making his magic reach the pentagram.  
And suddenly, the pentagram caught fire.  
Alec, taken aback by surprise, moved back.  
  
Magnus saw the fire reaching his skin, and it burned. This wasn't supposed to happened. He was supposed to disappear as soon as the fire appeared on the pentagram. He wasn't supposed to literally burn with it. This was supposed to last at least 10 or 20 seconds. This was taking too long and hurting too much.

  
Yelling in pain, Magnus fell to the ground, and he looked back at Alec with panic. Alec must have realized something bad  
was happening, because the next second, Alec yelled.  
  
"Magnus! What's wrong??"  
  
But all could Magnus do was yell in pain because of the fire burning his skin. But he didn't felt only fire, he also felt magic. But not his. This magic was so dark and powerful.  
  
"Magnus!"  
  
Looking up, Magnus saw Alec getting closer to the pentagram and reaching to him trough the fire without hesitating for one second. But as soon as he moved his hand towards Magnus to grab him by the arm, Alec yelled in pain and moved backwards, away from Magnus, cursing.  
  
Magnus saw Alec's arm burn, and saw him fall to the ground.  
On the ground, Alec was looking back at him, face full of fear and panick, and he heard Alec yell,  
  
"No! Magnus!"  
  
Then he felt a change. His skin was still burning but it didn't feel the pain. He felt like an invisible force was surrounding him. Everything around him started to fade. The last thing he saw was Alec on the ground, grabbing his own harm with his hand, still looking at Magnus, crying.  
  
And the last thing he heard was Alec's scream of pain, calling out to him.  
  
"Magnus!!"  
  
But then, blackness. He had a feeling like he was going throught a portal, but it felt different. It was suffocating him. The air around him felt different, darker.  
He felt like he was floating into emptiness.  
  
Then a few seconds later, he hit the ground. Opening his eyes, everything he saw was darkness.  
There was no ounce of light.  
And he, himself, felt different. Like something in him changed. Without thinking too much about it, Magnus got up.  
Carefully moving forward, Magnus brought his hands up, just in case something unexpected happens, so he would be able to use his magic to protect himself.  
  
He moved forward, then his hands hit something. It felt like a wall... but the more he inspected it, and he realized with a sense of fear, that it wasn't a wall ... but a door.  
And he moved his hands next to the door, to feel how much the place he was in was big.  
A few seconds later he hit a corner of the wall.  
This wasn't a room, it almost felt like a closet.  
Immediately, Magnus moved away and muttered a spell so he could produce some light.  
But nothing happened.  
  
Frowning in confusion, he looked down at his hands, but his magic didn't react.  
This wasn't happening ... this couldn't be happening. This was Edom. He was connected to this place, he grew up here! His magic was supposed to work here ...  
  
"No ... No!" yelled Magnus, and immediately, he heard a laugh, in his head.  
The voice was grave, and cruel.  
Magnus used both of his hands to cover his ears to block the laughs but it didn't stop.  
  
Then turning around, and facing the door, he banged on it, with all his strenght, and yelled as loud as he could.  
  
"Let me out !! Let me out!!"  
  
But no one answered. All he could hear was the horrible laugh.  
  
Then,  
  
"Welcome home son."  
  
Backing away from the door, and gulping down in fear, Magnus looked up, but he saw nothing. The darkness was starting to hurt his eyes.  
  
"Let me out Asmodeus! I have to speak with you about-"  
  
"About your precious mundane and shadow world burning under Lilith's power? I don't care about that ... And I am certainly not going to help you. I saw you down there with your precious Nephilim ... I must admit, you do have a wonderful taste. Now I wonder... Do you think he will like a meeting with me?" asked voice inside Magnus' head.  
  
"Leave him out of this! And let me out!" screamed Magnus, banging the door with all his force,  
  
"Oh my son ... we are going to have so much fun.  
And no one is coming to help you.  
No one.  
Not even your saviour Alexander".

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, leave a comment or a kudos if you liked it :-D


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